what should i do?

so, sunday was interesting... after two weeks off from work, i didn't know why i was dreading going back. was it out of sheer laziness? or did i really not like my job -that- much? i didn't realize that was the case, or even if it is.

i do know that over the past few months i've been wondering about my job future. i was recently surprised to find out that i was tenured at the beginning of this school year, unbeknownst to me. but even before i found that out, i was itching to find something that fit me better. there are many aspects of teaching that i enjoy, but i also feel like the right job for me is just waiting for me to find it. i think i'm looking for a challenge - i want to discover my own theorum, or create a new invention, or make the latest breakthough discovery. hahahah... cliche, i know, but still, i want to be in a field where i'm growing and pushing myself to my full potential. as a teacher, i feel that i encounter daily challenges, but those are in the realm of education and psychology, where i'm looking to improve my classroom management, where i'm trying to bridge the gap between the students and their learning, and trying to make math interesting and attainable for them. but i want to be challenged technically, where i encounter math problems (or engineering? or physics? or something else?) that push my limits.

on the first day back, i knew i would have to review the students, and let me tell you, i was -bored- out of my mind!! period after period of graphing lines - and i have the same set of "guided practice" problems intended to help them remember all the key elements as the problems progressed. period after period it was the same. by period 5, i was tempted to keep some calculus problems next to the projector so my mind would have something to work on while i was presenting to my students. i didn't. but i wanted to.

i think it's the thought of doing this year after year after year that makes me feel like maybe i need to start exploring other options. i mean, i do like a lot of aspects of teaching (and all the side benefits like Christmas vacation or summer vacation, etc). i really enjoy being around the students most of the time as well, and i know i like it much better than a desk job.

but i'm still excited at the prospect of going back to school to get my masters in math! without a definite goal or plan, it's a little intimidating, but i know that no matter what, i still want to get this degree. even if i stayed a teacher, i'd want to pursue this degree. so i should pursue it now, and then see what possibilities open up!

it's exciting -- and a little scary too! -- but mostly exciting! i need to pray about all these decisions...