climbing owens river gorge

so my physical activity has been limited to things that are not high impact on my ankle, so i've actually been doing rock climbing. weird, i know, because that is so leg intensive, but it's all controlled movement and no high impact, so it's an approved activity. volleyball and basketball are still currently on my off-list though... weird, huh?

at any rate, i've been going with my cousin alot in these past few days, but this last trip probably was the coolest climbs i've ever done. i did a lot of side holds, and a lot of climbs that used more upper body strength than i'm used to. i even did an overhang! and pulled myself up! after i lost my footing! hahha... here are some of the pics:

climbing up, contemplating how to do this
oh, so you do a side hold, and lean back for leverage...
and then i got to the overhang...
trying to get a higher hold, i was reaching as high as i could with my left while keeping my right hand on the lower hold for stability
so i reached my right hand up there too, and then i lost my footing!
but my hands were wedged in so tight i stayed put, and i swung my legs up and got them up onto the ledge
fun stuff, eh? =)

a few weeks ago i got in touch with a good friend who i never get a chance to talk to. the advice this friend had for me was solid - basically, i have my perception of the way things are, but the reality is different. and i need to accept that reality is the way that it is.

looking on that, i think i still want to believe that things are the way that i hoped that they would be, but i think i know better. i've accepted that they are not that way.

where do i go from here? i don't know. but learning to deal with reality is a good first step to get me away from chasing what isn't there.

every day, i wake up and thank God for my friends. and then i pray a blessing over specific people who have asked for it, or have shown a need...

this hasn't been the easiest thing for me to do, but it has kept me talking to God. even when i haven't known what to pray for specifically, it's easy sometimes just to start listing their names and telling Him that He knows what they need, and i just want to lift them up in prayer. it's funny sometimes because i seriously just do the roll call... but i have to say that i've noticed a difference in it now.

i still struggle with some issues of my own, but that doesn't stop me from praying for other people. and when i start thinking dark thoughts, i just turn my attention to God and start asking for blessings on others. at the very least, it's just avoidance. but focusing on the positive instead of the negative has really helped. i'm still struggling with my thoughts, but i keep on turning to Him...

and i'm thankful for all the activities He's filled my life with, and the friends He has blessed me with, but at the same time i don't want to forget about relying on Him, or even dealing with my issues. i'm not trying to hide from anything... i need to remember to keep it real and allow myself to search, and to give myself alone time as well.

rock climbing is low impact

i've been taking a break from all high impact sports, which is basically all sports since i'm not allowed to run either. but the doctor gave me full clearance for the workout gym, so i'll be going back to that soon. i still can't swim because of risk of infection to the hole in my foot (it didn't fully close up with the stitches so i'm still waiting on that)

rock climbing is still pretty fun tho! i am making sure to not extend my ankle in any direction that is still uncomfortable, although this week i would say i'm getting back my full range of motion. i made it halfway up this rock (which was my third climb of the day) before my muscles crapped out on me. i suppose that's a sign that i need to get back to the gym now!

other goals:

to be able to do a pull-up. more than one, actually. just to be able to do pull-ups, i guess.

to learn how to surf (which has to wait until i learn how to swim well)

to enjoy eating mushrooms. this one i'm fairly close on - i like mushrooms in my food, most of the time, it's big button mushrooms or other large and slippery ones that i don't like. i think it's a texture thing that i have to get over. i like cream of mushroom soup, musrooms when they're small and in a sauce over my food, etc. every time i eat food with mushrooms in it i make it a point to put a little bit more on my plate than i would normally, and i'm working on fully integrating it into my meals...

to learn how to make a dress. i'm sewing one right now, but it's not well done. i'll keep on making them till i'm satisfied with the quality =)

to learn to cook ginataang monggo with langka. oh man... that's yummy stuff! i've never dealt with langka before it's been in my food - i've only eaten it 2-3 times too. but i will learn it! thank you, internet!

i would like to have plants. ones that grow and flourish. i would like to have mango, papaya, calamansi, kamote, loquat, cherimoya, and all sortsa tropical fruits. i guess i should grow jackfruit too if i want to start cooking it. mmm.... fruits =)

to learn about the workings of a car (or a motorcycle!) so far i've read up on DOHC engines, and i'm learning about torque vs horsepower. that's still a confusing topic, but i'll get there! i'm also getting better at recognizing bikes on the road =)

balance. it's so hard to achieve.

either i'm super busy and i'm full of energy, or i have nothing to do and i just bum around.

i was telling my roommate yesterday how it's funny that the busier i am, the more projects i pick up... i know that sounds like it's exactly the same thing, but it's not. a few years back when i was taking classes for my M.Ed., it was my first year of teaching, and i was extremely busy. i still had to take classes at ucr from 4-7 or 7-10 sometimes, and on top of that, i found time to go out with my cousins, cook dinner on wednesday nights, and also go to gym night for 4 hours at a time!

the years following that busy schedule, i had absolutely nothing to do after work. in that time, i would come home and nap and then bum around... i don't know what i did in that time.

now that i'm back in school, i'm taking 3 classes (10 units) right now. i'm at cal state 4 hours a day 2x a week, and on the days i don't go there, i feel like i've been gifted an extra 4 hours in my day that my time is free - so i had been working out in that time, but i still had some extra time. so, on top of that, i picked up some personal projects at home as well. and still i have a lot of time that i don't know what to do with! no more napping for me!

the thing is, i talked about balance a few posts ago. there still are times during the day when i feel like i don't have anything to do, and i'll call my friends up and they just want to stay home because they don't have the energy that i do. but i've noticed that there are times i won't go to sleep at night cuz i'm so busy with all that i'm doing. i want to make sure that i keep it balanced - keeping God important in my life, and still have time to develop the talents that He's blessed me with.

happy earth day!

some (not so random) thoughts....

happy birthday, you!

some of my favorite memories of earth day are of getting free ice cream at ben & jerry's while i was in high school.

i also have pictures of one year... and i don't remember what we were doing but somehow i ended up at with a friend at another friend's house looking at his aquarium. weird.

i miss free ice cream.

i miss my friend.

i miss being active. it's only been 5 days since my surgery but i still miss my activities. when can i start volleyballing again? or rock climbing? or swimming? -sigh-

a few months ago, if you had asked me what i would be doing right now, my answer would have been totally different from what really happened today. i actually like how today panned out, even if it is different than anything i would have thought of.

i am wondering how to achieve balance.

in my Bible readings i've been wondering how to take what God gives me and 'invest' in it and use my talents without letting that become a distraction between me and God. i think i want to apply that to all aspects of my life - let Him bless me and help me flourish in my endeavors but not ever lose sight of Him.

so yeah, balance. in all aspects of life.

gnite, y'all, and God bless you!

hindsight is 20/20

it's amazing what you can figure out after the fact...

such as who will be there for you no matter what! currently, to me, that's measured by who came and visited me, texted me, and wished me well on my day of ankle surgery. i have a great group of friends who checked in on me throughout the day to make sure i'm doing well. and it's funny to me that some people that i considered close friends didn't acknowledge my surgery at all, while some people who don't hold that title made sure to check in on me several times. it's sorta not what i expected, but that's ok, i'm just thankful for all the people who were there for me.

thank you especially to all of you who brought me some food =) thai food always rocks, you can never go wrong with inviting me to maria's, and cooking me a meal from my fridge meant i didn't have to stand up to eat! you rock, peoples!

some goals

since my blog is about living and learning, i thought i'd list some of the stuff i'd like to learn this year:

i want to be more aware. mostly, just aware of how other people perceive the world. i mean, i think that i see the world through different eyes than most people. my actions can sometimes be misunderstood... they have been alot, actually. but if i understand how other people think, then i think it'll be easier to 'live in their world', and have less misunderstanding between the both of us.

i want to learn how to do a reverse lay-up. i guess that means i should also brush up on my regular lay-ups.

i'm having ankle surgery tomorrow. this means i'm not gonna be able to do as much physical activity as i'd like to. however, it gives me a chance to work on my swimming skills!

by the end of this year, i will have invested in something. some stock, some mutual fund, or whatever i have researched to be the most appropriate investment for me.

there's a few more, but i can't think of them right now...

oooh... today's one-year Bible reading brought up a couple of things.

OT - talked about the children of Israel crossing the jordan to go take jericho. it reminded me of a really good sermon about jericho i once heard...

NT - Luke 14:33 "So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own." i have to keep on keeping God as the most important thing in my life... no one else, not even myself, should get in the way.

and now i'm headed off to church. i think i've talked about in the past how i've always had a roommate to go with and that made it comfortable for me... even in LA i feel comfortable in my roommate's church to invite other people to potluck, etc. but now it's just me in my 'home church' and i still want to go. this time, my journey is for me. for me and God. not cuz of obligations, not cuz of guilt, but just to keep on pursuing a relationship with God. i looked back on old blog posts, some of them, even 2-3 years ago this month, chronicle my struggle with the church. this has been a long ongoing process... i didn't quite see the point of it then, but i wanted to learn more... i think i see a different reason to go now. anyways, looking at where i was 3 years ago, i'm hoping that there's continued growth in me.

i hope i can also one day look back at this post and remember where i was at, because if i don't write it down then it'll be hard remember the struggles i went through.

i can admit that i don't know what's best for me, and i'm trying to trust that God's plan is far better than anything i could have hoped for...

but trying to let go of my hopes and dreams is bittersweet... i've thought i wanted something for approximately 7 years, and now i'm supposed to -try- to not want it anymore. logically, i know that it's not right for me, and i have accepted that on one level. but extinguishing the hope that's lived in me for the past 7 years... that's a really hard thing to do! while part of me can't wait for it to happen, the other part of me wants to keep on hoping that the situation would change so that it is beneficial for me... hahaha, i guess what i'm saying is that i don't want to let go of my hope because i hope that it will come true. which is ridiculous.

is this what they mean by surrendering everything to God? to not hold onto my own goals, but to simply trust that God will show me His plan in His time. and that's probably best, that He doesn't show me the next plan for my life until i'm ready to walk down that road. i have so much growing to do before i'm ready again... and if i know what the plan is for my life ahead of time i might try to make it happen before i'm ready, which i know would be disastrous. so i guess i just need patience?

i guess that's why my prayers aren't specific anymore, i just keep on praying for God's presence to be known, in everyone's lives, and for His blessings to be showered on everyone. it's all that i'm certain i can ask for.

volunteer? ministry? what can i get involved in?

i never used to be a morning person, but i've been trying to change that about myself. i started setting my alarm at 6am so that i could wake up and read the Bible and eat breakfast, and do it leisurely, instead of trying to rush through everything in 10 minutes and still make it to work in time! after a while, i started waking up 10-15 minutes before my alarm would go off, but i always just chalked it up to my body knowing that my alarm was about to ring...

however, more recently, i've been waking up at 5:18 every morning! it's unusual for me to simply wake up and feel like i need to get started on my day so early. i started asking God what message he has to share with me that early, because i don't think i'm waking up on my own simply to get up at 5. and i'm hoping that He will lead me towards a ministry i can get involved in, one that i could even help lead! i miss those times when i was active in the church, when we were the social activities directors, when we would sing the praise songs as part of one of the bands, when i was student missions director at la sierra and i had a group of friends that would lead out in church services all over southern california. looking back on it, i always participated in a group, by that, i mean, i had a group of friends who participated with me. and now i'm looking for a group here in my town, where most of my sda friends live in other cities... so i guess i'm looking for a new group? or a new ministry? or a way i can connect with a community here and be involved. i'm not sure in what way or capacity, but i know i want to, and i know i should. even if it's volunteering somewhere... but where?

one of the ministries several years back was when my roommates and i used to be one of the praise groups at church, and i sang lead vocals in "you are beautiful, my sweet sweet song". i think it's awesome when i can rely on songs from the past for strength. i find myself humming the tune and not even realizing what song it is, and then when i start singing the words i find comfort and strength in them. to me, those are little gifts from God, he's blessed me with the tune and the ability to sing.

anyhow, i hope you enjoy this song too

communion with God

the biggest blessing is that when i wake up 20-30 minutes before my alarm goes off, i've been turning over my thoughts to God. i've been asking Him to help me surrender my thoughts to Him and asking Him to fill me with good thoughts, to help me commune with Him, and to help me focus on the positive instead of the negative. i've also asked Him to help me focus on Him instead of on others.

Sabbath morning was a particular blessing as i woke up in a rather foul mood, and i was begging God to take away those thoughts from me. and as i was lying there talking to Him, i felt like He had a message for me. it was perhaps the first tangible way we've 'talked' like that, and that's been something i've been looking for for a long time! i'd like to remember that feeling...

the next blessing was that i called my parents to share the message i was given, (partly to check that the message was one that was given to me, and not one that i made up simply because i wanted to believe it), and i talked with my dad for an hour about checking God's messages against the Bible, and it was a healing experience for me to talk to my dad about ministry stuff. i've been shying away from stuff like that and our relationship has been strained in the past, but things are improving for us!

i guess i just want to praise God publicly for turning a hardship into a blessing, and for bringing me closer to Him, and for improving my relationship with Him and with my parents. and if my story can help anyone else in their walk with Him too, i hope that you find inspiration in my story and that you turn to God to help you through any problems you're facing. psalm 66:17, 20

this is my heart's desire

i've been trying to be "obedient" to God's will but i guess i'm still a little confused on the concept. over the years as i've struggled with the idea of "God talking to people" and "knowing God's will", i've had to make several decisions which were torturous. i remember trying to figure out if i was supposed to be a missionary to japan or not, and no option i chose seemed right. it felt like i was making the decisions for the wrong reasons, and i was afraid of not doing God's will. people would tell me, no matter what you choose, God can take any situation and make it work out for the best if you trust Him.

so this is me, following a path i didn't choose, but still trying to trust Him. i don't know what that fully means, because it somewhat feels like i'm trusting in an unknown. i mean, i have faith that He will take care of me, and i have faith that everything will work out for good. but then there are also passages in the Bible that say

"Delight yourself in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." ~ Psalm 37:4,5

is it possible to still be trusting him if i'm pleading for what i want? or am i supposed to trust in Him and try to change my heart? what does obedient mean? am i supposed to empty out my heart and ask Him to fill it with His desires? the Bible is full of stories of people who have pleaded with God and He's granted them their wishes because of their relationship with Him. but then, some of those stories haven't turned out for the best - almost like it's a "fine, you can have what you want, but you have to live through the pain of it." it's all very confusing to figure out how much i'm supposed to surrender over to God. i've gotten as far as the "trust in Him" and am hoping i can figure out a direction to turn...

so many things to say... and no words with which to adequately say it.

so, i will just say that life is hard. things aren't what you expected. and they don't always work according to the plan. and yet... i still want those things.

and i still feel like it was God's will for my life... so why isn't it working? that doesn't make sense to me!

i don't know how to cope with that...

sinus bradycardia

my resting heart rate when i'm sitting is around 55 beats per minute, which is considered slow. tonight, i took my pulse - counted it out for a whole minute just to be as accurate as possible. only 45 beats per minute when i'm lying down!

i thought that was slow so i took it again a minute later. yup! 45 again!

i wonder how that affects me...

teacher recognition

one of my 2-period students is a transfer student from another school district where he got kicked out of for possession... his mom is a teacher at my school, one who all the students love and speak highly of. i was a bit worried when she first called me to ask about his progress because it seemed like she would be constantly checking up on me! i guess maybe i thought she might turn around and criticize me for his poor grades.

however, i am glad she is so involved in his academic progress because she made him be more accountable for his time to her, and ever since he has been doing more work and turning more assignments in. he's been getting my signature on his daily agenda every time he finishes his work, and he raised his grade considerably. it really is a testament to how students who have a supportive home environment can do much better than when they are left to their own devices.

about a week ago i stopped seeing this student in my class, and i found out why on tuesday when i met his mom for the first time in person when i was picking up my mail in the staff lounge. she introduced herself to me and shook my hand, and she told me that her son was in the hospital being treated for the problem that we had discussed over the phone. she then told me she was so grateful for all the accomodations and extra help i was giving her son. she thanked me for being the type of teacher that cared, and told me that he always had good things to say about me. it was weird hearing that from another teacher, but i really appreciated hearing it from her - especially since i had only heard good things about her too!

most of the time i am in my own bubble in my classroom. i don't see many other teachers, usually i just see the ones that work in my hallway. although my students like me enough, i don't normally get feedback from a colleague. compliments such as the one she just gave me don't come very often, but they can be reassuring in a time like this - when i am looking at the school system in despair (budget cuts, program changes, and so much more are depressing! but that's another topic for another post).

i guess i'm just saying it's nice to have heard something encouraging and positive about my job...

my plants

taking a picture of that orchid i just bought reminded me i have to update on my other plants, which aren't faring so well right now. my poor tropical plants that were sent in the mail don't look like they've grown much, and in fact, my pineapple guava plants lost their leaves - i think i overwatered! at any rate, here's the one month update photo:
at least there are new leaves on my avocado seed - you can see them inside the seed!
and the plant is starting to grow up and out of that seed... i can't wait till there are real leaves outside the seed!

i also have another avocado seed - i'm soaking it in water for 2 weeks before i stick the toothpicks in it, which i read only after this other seed sprouted. we'll see how well they do compared to each other!

i only spent a dollar sixty

i went across the street to return a movie to the redbox in the stater bros, and uncharacteristically started wandering the aisles. i quickly realized i had no dog and therefore had no business browsing the dog food aisle, and i turned to leave the store when the cashier told me, "everything on this rack is ten cents." it looked like there wasn't anything i wanted on the shelf, but i looked on the bottom rack and realized that there was all sortsa brand name sunblock lotions, which normally retail around 7-8 bucks. and then there was this orchid plant on the top rack - it's price tag said $24.99, which makes it a 99.5% discount! the other guy browsing the racks was like, "it's probably dying already", but i just take it as a challenge. and as an incredible value. at any rate, i bought the 16 items displayed in the picture below for only $1.60.
that's an orchid plant, 4 bottles of facial sunblock, 2 bottles of coppertone sport spf 50, 3 bottles of hawaiian tropic sunblick, 5 bottles of banana boat sunblock, and a sponge for the kitchen sink.

simply amazing!

visiting my grandma

my grandma was born in 1915, which means that later this year she'll turn 94 years old. she got alzheimer's several years back, and while i don't know all about that disease, what that means is that we have trouble communicating with each other. a couple of years ago, my family on my dad's side all met up in maui to visit her, and she would mumble/stutter a lot, and it was mainly in ilocano, which basically meant i didn't understand a word. now, she doesn't speak any language but smiles.

when she recognizes someone she breaks out with a huge smile and even sometimes starts laughing. last night she did that, she pointed at me and started laughing! i thought it was hilarious, cuz it was like she was making fun of me, so i started laughing too, and she just started laughing harder.

the only other thing i can say about her now is that she wants to eat everything! yah, yah, i know, you're probably all saying, "so that's where you get it from!" but honestly, i can't remember ever seeing my grandmother eat. she was -always- in the kitchen cooking for us, and she never sat down to dinner with us. she would always say she wasn't hungry and she preferred to cook more food. i always just figured she had picked at the food while she was cooking and wasn't hungry anymore. even when she sat down with us, she didn't eat with us, she would just put more food on our plate.

now? she's eating everything. you have to watch her carefully to make sure she doesn't grab the paper napkin off the table and start eating it. she was sitting by me earlier, and i was doing some calculus work on a piece of paper. she reached over, picked up an imaginary piece of food off my paper, and stuck it in her mouth and started chewing. she kept on doing that until i put a cookie on my paper, and then she picked up the cookies and started eating those. i kept on doing that till my mom decided to feed her a grapefruit. when she was done, my mom left the grapefruit rind on the table. i continued with my calculus until i realized my grandma had picked up the half-grapefruit rind and had started eating it! i had to wrestle the rind out of her strong hands and put it out of reach for her to stop chewing the rind. she has a healthy appetite, though, and i'm glad to see her eat =)

later on tonight i was standing in the kitchen and realized someone had put their arm around me - and i turned around and saw that it was my grandma! she had walked all the way over to me, grabbed my arm and tucked it under hers, and then dragged me across the kitchen back to the living room couch. we sat down on the couch together, and she just kept on looking at me and kept on laughing.

it's nice to be able to spend time with her even though we don't get to communicate in the typical way... i'm enjoying being able to feed her lunch, sit next to her at church, and just see her look at me and laugh and smile.

i guess i'm just glad we're sharing a lot of laughs this weekend =)

dude... having this site blocked at work really cuts down on my posting! i guess i feel most like writing about my day/thoughts during 6th period, when there are no students in my classroom.

here's a random listing of stuff i enjoyed this week. maybe i'll get a chance to expand on the list later...

• i read "the alchemist" this week. loved it! my student recommended it to me (i have over 100 books on a shelf in my classroom for the students to read - we get 23 minutes a day for "ssr" - sustained silent reading. i guess the thought is that if we can teach them to love to read, they'll learn for life.
• we saw minsky's on wednesday. enjoyed and laughed... but y'know, while i knew it was a musical about a burlesque show, i wasn't expecting to see the burlesque show... it was surprised, but i think the family friend i ran into over there was even more surprised - she bought tickets for all her sons and daughters for her son's bday. whoops!
• maison akira was yummy...

i'm looking forward to reading more books/doing calculus on my plane trip to arkansas. i can't wait to see grandma!!

=====================
update:

• i also started and finished "funny in farsi" on the plane. it was a good book! i laughed out loud and read some of the funnier parts to my brother on the plane.
  

reading the one year Bible

for a few years now i've been thinking i should start reading the Bible again, but it was always hard to start. then, all of a sudden, on dec 1, i just woke up early and opened up the one year Bible and read that day's reading. no decision, no resolution, i just did it on a whim. the next day, when i woke up, i thought, hey, i have time, let me read it again! well... 2 months later, i'm still doing it! i suppose it's habit by now!

i've been enjoying this new habit, too! everyday, there's at least one verse that stands out to me. sometimes, it speaks to me and addresses the issues in my life - i feel like those are little nuggets of hope that encourage me through hard times. sometimes, they're verses that make me go "hmmm..." - i have a lot of questions about what i'm reading now! sometimes i think it's just the translation or a grammatical thing, but sometimes it leads me to question the theology i've taken for granted all my life.

today's verse that made me think was matthew 22:32. "I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living."

the question that brings up in my mind is: does this mean that Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are living? Jesus was addressing the sadduccees who didn't believe in resurrection. was this just an answer to them, or is this a way of Jesus telling everyone that your soul goes on to live with God? the commentaries at the bottom of this webpage all point to some type of resurrection and that they are indeed living - contrary to what sda's have typically been taught.

i find it so interesting - like i'm making new discoveries!

so much stuff to write about

i find it ironic that the more stuff i have to blog about, the less time i have to put my thoughts down on "paper"...

this past week, i've felt like blogging every day and every night and every morning as i woke up - however, the only down time i've had was while i was at work, and i can't access my blog while i'm at work. maybe i can start emailing myself what i want to post... at least it'll all be written and all i have to do is go home and copy-paste into a post. hmmm... i'll have to figure out a system that works.

mostly, i've been wanting to write about faith and how faith the size of a mustard seed could move mountains. and the faith talked about here is probably the question i've been mulling over: am i supposed to have faith that God could heal? or have faith that God will heal? it seems a little presumptuous to say God will heal, haven't we been taught to say, "not my will, but yours, Lord?" but then it seems like we're supposed to have enough faith to say, this WILL happen because i have faith and because i asked. i'm a little confused on the topic... but suffice it to say that I'm asking for that type of faith, at least enough faith to know that i can/should ask for something.

there's so much more to say but sleep is setting in... i'm not gonna fight it tonight...

g'nite y'all!

hahhaha... of course i'm boggle!

You Are Boggle

You are an incredibly creative and resourceful person. You're able to dig deep and think outside the box to get things done. You are a non linear thinker. You don't like following directions You draw your inspiration from the strangest places sometimes. You're constantly inspired.

What Board Game Are You?

loquat, pineapple guava, & avocado

i've wanted a pineapple guava plant and a calamansi plant for years now! moving every year or so hasn't helped me "set down roots" literally speaking, and now that i'm in a house that i own, there isn't much of a yard in which to grow fruit trees, so i never felt like paying the $25-30 at the local tropical nursery for a mature tree that i didn't have any room for.

since i have this inner urge to grow my own fruit trees, i figured now would be a great time to sprout an avocado seed - i did this once when i was in 3rd grade, and i successfully planted it outside and it grew there nicely, and i waited patiently for the first 5 years as it didn't blossom nor produce fruit. i was disappointed to learn that avocados take 5 years to mature before they have any fruit, but i know that when the 5th summer was approaching i got really excited! and then!! then my parents sold the house and we moved away before i could try my avocado fruit! i guess all the fruit trees we had put in our patio-sized yard made our condo the most desireable one in the complex, as our sold for $110k while others sat on the market at $80-90k. so my avocado did serve a purpose, but i still never got to enjoy the fruit.

at any rate, i figured now was the time i should grow my new avocado tree, because i think i'd move from this place and into a house with a bigger yard before its 5 years of maturing are over, and then i wouldn't have to wait another 5 years... it took FOREVER to grow that first root, the seed had been sitting in water for almost a month before the root started growing! but the seed cracked open and i'm noticing the leaves growing inside! it's exciting to me =) i come home and check it every day to see if there are any new leaves (yes, right now there's a tiny red one curled up at the top of all the green ones) and to see the development of the root (now there's two!!!)
during that month of waiting for the seed to sprout, i continued to look for plants to grow, and i ended up looking online for those tropical plants i wanted, and while i was doing my holiday shopping i came across wellspring gardens on ebay, and they were selling starter plants for pineapple guava for $4.99! i bought 3 pineapple guava starter plants and also got 2 loquat starter plants, but i gave one of each away to his mom for her birthday. they came smaller than i thought they would - in 3inch pots, to be exact. but i transplanted them to these larger ones and i stuck them in the room where they'd get some sun every day and i'm hoping they grow and flourish! since they're so young, it'll be at least 1-2 years before they produce fruit, but i have to make sure they get to that stage!

here's what they look like right now - that's the loquat on the left and the 2 pineapple guava on the right:
and then here's a side view so i can monitor their height and growth:
so that means i have 4 plants to take care of... time to change my black thumb into a green thumb =)

we -tried- to go on a bike ride

so because of mlk, we (my educator friends and i) didn't have work on monday. so the 3 of us decided to go on a mtn bike ride, just around the hills of my house. to make it a little bit more exciting, we thought we'd bike up the road a little bit and go through the dirt paths behind all the houses where i normally bike.

on the way there, i thought it would be faster (and less close to the traffic) to cut through an empty grass yard, rather than stay on the sidewalk and go around it. as i was in the lead, i turned around and asked the girls if they thought i could do it - and all 3 of us agreed that a mountain bike should be able to handle it.

boy, were we wrong!

when we got out and onto the road again, i noticed while i was biking that there was a lot of stuff stuck on my tires. i waited till i got to the next turn and decided to stop there to wait for the girls to catch up. when i stopped and turned around, i noticed that they were far back and they were yelling at me, "shy's got 2 flat tires!!" at that point, i decided to knock out some of the thorns that covered both tires. OMG there were so many!! those goatheads got really stuck in there, too!

i finished clearing most of the front and thought i'd clean out the rear tire too, but when i picked out one thorn i heard the disheartening hiss of the tire... i had a flat too!!! then i checked the front too - and it was flat too!! i had 2 flats as well. gah!

so far, that was 4 flat tires we had on 2 bikes. but while we were walking our bikes back, we realized that the 3rd bike indeed was inflicted with 2 more flat tires. SIX FLAT TIRES!!! sheesh!

we took their bikes to the bike shop and got the tubes replaced - but i had the guy teach me how so that i could do my own at home. and then after he was all done repairing them, he wheeled the bikes out and gave them back to the girls, saying, "now ladies!" and we got the speech on how bikes should avoid the grassy areas that hide the thorns and that we need to stick to the trail in front of us and not try to forge our own.

i had no idea that a mountain bike that could handle rocky and hilly terrain was not built to go through grass! i guess that's something new i learned this week =)

oh, and i also learned to replace the inner tube on a bike's tires! i haven't had time to do it yet cuz i've been working my sink, but that's another project for another post.

anyways, i don't have a picture of the goatheads, but i found a pic online of what they look like embedded into a tire:

now imagine that many, but all the way around both tires of mine, and you'll get an idea of what my bike looked like on monday. crazy, huh?!

fishing at 4 in the morning

last week, on Sabbath, we ended up on 100 acres near yosemite practicing our aim shooting at apples flying through the air. my first shot knocked the apple propped up on the tree, and that was pretty cool to hit my very first target =)

when we came back and had dinner with our host's parents, i found out that we were going fishing at 4 on sunday morning! i had never gone fishing that early in the morning... actually, i don't think i've ever gone fishing besides that one time i went with m. for a 2-day trip into mexico. and that last time, we slept on the boat, so everyone could wake up to fish when they wanted to.

they laughed at me because i wanted to take a picture of the rising sun, but hey, i guess it's one of those things that i still find beautiful, probably because i never had to wake up to take care of the horses and cows before the sun rose, like my farmboy bf had to do while growing up. uncle was pretty funny to watch, because any time there were any ducks flying near us, he would hoist up a make-believe shotgun to his eye and pretend to shoot 3 or 4 ducks down. i woulda loved to get a photo of the multitude of ducks flying through the air but i was too busy being entertained by uncle so eager to hunt all living things near him!

on the drive home, i learned all about guns from my farmboy - he educated me on pistols, rifles, shotguns, where we get caliber (.22 is based on diameter, in inches; 12 gauge means that 12 lead spheres with the same diameter as the shell would weigh a pound), and i spent some time on the lake with a great family. i think it was a rather great weekend overall!

wow... this test was easy =)

hahhaha... i didn't think the test would get me as much, and i wasn't sure on whether or not to check off things (i'da preferred rating it on a scale so that stuff i've definitely done was a 5 and stuff that i try to do, or sometimes do, would get a 3), but i'd have to say that the title it gave me pretty much fits. i haven't read the in-depth description yet, but i laughed out loud and had to share the test here:

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a

Lifelong Learning Reinventing Money Manager

today was fix-it day!

so i brought my car to toyota today for a routine oil change, and then they of course tried to upsell me on the other stuff my car needed! they listed a buncha stuff, like my rear wiper, an engine air filter, an in-cabin air filter, rear brake cleaning and adjustment, and fuel system cleaning. they wanted me to pay $444. which, if i trusted them, i might have paid, but i wasn't too keen on paying that much money for something i wasn't sure about. i went ahead and let them change the rear wiper and the engine filter for $20 total, but deferred the rest to "when i had more money".

and then i texted my handy dandy car guy boyfriend and told him that i needed his expert advice on all the stuff they wanted me to do. he told me he could make me a new in-cabin air filter, and for much less than the $75 they were going to charge me! so we went to home depot and picked up some air filters (including some for my ac unit). and then he went into my car to figure out where the air filter was, and it was hidden behind my glove compartment. and when he pulled the filter tray out - would you believe there was no filter in there at all?!?!? those ppl at toyota tried to have me pay $75 to "replace" a filter that they had forgotten to put in!

i ended up putting in a new filter into my ac unit, and then i went under the sink and wanted to fix the drain for the ac unit - every time we used it there would be a pool of water under jill's sink. we pulled the hose off and found that it was clogged with sediment - no wonder the water would drip out - it was just sitting there with nowhere else to go! we cleaned it out and i reattached it.

i ended up vaccuuming and cleaning out the trash bin and taking out the trash and picking up the mail and all sortsa other stuff that needed doing too. once i get in the fix-it mood then i wanna keep on going till everything's taken care of!

but i was totally impressed with the "make my own air filter for the car" bit. he is too cool!

a push in the -right- direction

so while i've been wondering what to do about juggling teaching, coaching, and going back to school, i "knew" i needed to teach to bring in the money, i wanted to coach because i thought that was the best aspect of my teaching job, and i thought going back to school would open opportunities (even if it is just to teach college).

but i just found out that i don't have the option of coaching anymore. my principal decided that he wasn't going to let me coach again, due to the girls that are stirring up drama, bringing their list of grievances about me to him. they're trying to blame me for everything that went wrong this season, and i know that there are people behind this orchestrating this all so that they have the opportunity to step into my spot when i'm asked to leave. it's frustrating and hurtful and i didn't quite know how to handle it this afternoon. i sat in my classroom after school ended and had trouble feeling like doing anything else... it was a rather devastating blow.

but i've been trying to stay positive about it. i guess, if you want to look at the silver lining, it's that i'm glad that i don't have to worry about trying to juggle all 3 things - and coaching was the hardest thing to fit in anyways. that means that all i have to do is figure out how many classes i want to cut back to so that i can maximize my time as a student. should i teach full time and take 1-2 classes a quarter? should i teach part time and take 4 classes a quarter? either way, i know i'll be taking classes. it's like, the hard decision was made for me, and now i know i just have to start going to school.

i guess i just have to be thankful that now i know what to do. i remember agonizing over the decision when i was trying to decide whether or not to take the missionary job in japan, and not knowing how to make that decision. it was a long and hard summer trying to make that decision, fearing that no matter what i decided i'd be going the "wrong" way, thinking and overthinking each possibility, and not liking my options. it was really rough.

thank God for closing some doors and showing me the right path this time! i don't want to waste any more years figuring it out...

matthew 6:31-33

i've been reading the one-year Bible faithfully since Dec 1... i just bulled through the first 2 weeks telling myself that it will soon become habit, and i think i've gotten to that point.

one of today's verses really hit home, even though i'm familiar with it, because it addresses the thoughts i had yesterday (as i was thinking about a job change and how to support myself while pursuing it)

matthew 6:31-33
so don't worry about these things, saying, what will we eat? what will we drink? what will we wear?
thises things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your Heavenly Father already knows all your needs.
seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

what should i do?

so, sunday was interesting... after two weeks off from work, i didn't know why i was dreading going back. was it out of sheer laziness? or did i really not like my job -that- much? i didn't realize that was the case, or even if it is.

i do know that over the past few months i've been wondering about my job future. i was recently surprised to find out that i was tenured at the beginning of this school year, unbeknownst to me. but even before i found that out, i was itching to find something that fit me better. there are many aspects of teaching that i enjoy, but i also feel like the right job for me is just waiting for me to find it. i think i'm looking for a challenge - i want to discover my own theorum, or create a new invention, or make the latest breakthough discovery. hahahah... cliche, i know, but still, i want to be in a field where i'm growing and pushing myself to my full potential. as a teacher, i feel that i encounter daily challenges, but those are in the realm of education and psychology, where i'm looking to improve my classroom management, where i'm trying to bridge the gap between the students and their learning, and trying to make math interesting and attainable for them. but i want to be challenged technically, where i encounter math problems (or engineering? or physics? or something else?) that push my limits.

on the first day back, i knew i would have to review the students, and let me tell you, i was -bored- out of my mind!! period after period of graphing lines - and i have the same set of "guided practice" problems intended to help them remember all the key elements as the problems progressed. period after period it was the same. by period 5, i was tempted to keep some calculus problems next to the projector so my mind would have something to work on while i was presenting to my students. i didn't. but i wanted to.

i think it's the thought of doing this year after year after year that makes me feel like maybe i need to start exploring other options. i mean, i do like a lot of aspects of teaching (and all the side benefits like Christmas vacation or summer vacation, etc). i really enjoy being around the students most of the time as well, and i know i like it much better than a desk job.

but i'm still excited at the prospect of going back to school to get my masters in math! without a definite goal or plan, it's a little intimidating, but i know that no matter what, i still want to get this degree. even if i stayed a teacher, i'd want to pursue this degree. so i should pursue it now, and then see what possibilities open up!

it's exciting -- and a little scary too! -- but mostly exciting! i need to pray about all these decisions...