a few weeks ago i got in touch with a good friend who i never get a chance to talk to. the advice this friend had for me was solid - basically, i have my perception of the way things are, but the reality is different. and i need to accept that reality is the way that it is.

looking on that, i think i still want to believe that things are the way that i hoped that they would be, but i think i know better. i've accepted that they are not that way.

where do i go from here? i don't know. but learning to deal with reality is a good first step to get me away from chasing what isn't there.